When you’re a busy mother, you often forget to take care of your own health and wellbeing. As a parent we soon realise that staying healthy is even more important now that we’ve got children. I’ve asked Tarry Bellingham – Corporate Health & Wellness Coach, Yoga teacher and mama to 3 to take us through her top tips that will help transform our life.
My top 3 simple self care tips:
Self Care for me is about constantly nourishing three key pillars. My mind (turning down the mental mayhem), my body (giving it the energy to function optimally) and my soul (fuelling my purpose and joy).
- Keep it holistic – you can’t sustain your health and wellness focused on an isolated area (i.e. you can diligently eat all the broccoli and kale you want, but if you live your life from the mantra ‘I’m not good enough’, mental stress will override your healthy food choices).
- Keep it tailored. We are all different– genetics, likes/dislikes, ability to handle stress, tolerances – you name it. If we all followed the same self care plan it would result in completely different outcomes. Some would thrive and some would struggle. My go to phrase is: Does it deplete me or energise me? Ask yourself this question as you cultivate your individual plan.
- Keep it fluid. We can take a beautiful lesson from mother nature here – change is inevitable. Not bad. Not good. It is just part of life. Therefore, if cardio floods you with serotonin one week and drains you the next – that is OK. The week your energy levels are plummeting, pick a different form of exercise – i.e. gentle walk. The same goes with foods, relationships and activities. If it is no longer working for you, give yourself permission to make changes. Nothing is ever constant.
My grateful list:
I can’t recommend a gratitude practice enough – a personal game changer for my mental wellbeing.
Today’s list so far:
My health, my gorgeous family, hubby leaving toothpaste on my toothbrush before he left for work, living and waking up in the country, Ruby sleeping in until 7am, my essential oils to balance my mood, my TM meditation practice, T2 Organic Chai, Beyonce – the uplifting ‘Shining’ song, a sanity phone call check in with a friend, my freedom and lifestyle, the profound simplicity and benefits of my yoga practice, healthy food and soaking up mother nature in the paddock with my horses.
It’s important to mess up… because it reminds you to get off the hamster wheel and not take life too seriously. Being organised is helpful and a stress minimiser BUT when your entire life revolves around ‘getting it right’ – it’s actually counterproductive. Make the time to let your hair down – have that extra glass of wine or piece of chocolate, spend the day in your pj’s, leave the house in a mess (on purpose) or try an activity that is completely out of your comfort zone, let go and laugh at yourself. It’s good for your health.
In a moment of absolute chaos with the kids, I try walk away before I let the crazy take over. Taking a moment to reconnect with my breath and gain perspective is always my initial step. Tag teaming in my hubby is a close step two. Never feel like you can’t ask for help.
To all the step mums out there… Firstly you are amazing. It’s not an easy journey (as is anything ending in mum). I’ve been a step mum to Eva and Sophie since they were little, so I’ve had the time to build strong foundations. Now with an added member to the Bellingham clan – Ruby – our three girls are devoted to each other. Being a mum and stepmum does take bucket loads of empathy, commitment, humour, fortitude and a few close friends to keep your sanity in check.
The unspoken extra layer to being a step parent is that you are juggling many different relationships that are not necessarily in your favour. My top tips: 1) Work on your relationship with your partner – solidarity is key! 2) Remember you can only control your own actions/reactions 3) Make time to refuel your own tank
My favourite way to relax… Solo – it’s the inner introvert in me coming out (or just a mum lavishing in her own space). You can find me in the paddock with the horses, attempting to paddleboard or in some juicy restorative pose with all my props intact.
Don’t forget to check out Tarryn’s Facebook page for loads of daily inspiration!